Thats what this is. So if you get pissed off about people complaining then start getting pissed off or stop reading, i really dont give a fuck.
pardon my grammar and spelling and all that other fun stuff because i dont care enough to make it accurate or even read this over to see if itll make sense cuz chances are it wont.
i dont care about anything anymore so the rest of my life no matter how short it may turn out being is going to be me doing absolutely nothing about being a perfect little fuck up
dont care about anything dont wanna be sober....ever
i dont care if i end up dying when im 25 from some drug overdose id rather do that than feel like i do now and live to be 315, it just doesnt matter to me anymore
my grades arent TERRIBLE but theyre no longer something to give myself a future on
i work my ass off for a close to worthless check but i dont even mind its probably the part of my life where im most alert to whats actually going on in the world because of all the people that i see and how pathetic there lives are and i dont want to be one of them
i dont wanna be one of those successful no it all people who think there shit dont stink and when they realize they do they spend everything they have trying to cover the stench. i wanna be comfortable and happy and the only way i can do that anymore is to give up
the only things im supposably supposed to be good at are my violin and my graphics
my graphics suck comapred to the big dogs in the parts of it and they want nothing to do with someone like me
im at a dead end in graphics and i quit
i cant make money at it anymore and it doesnt even bring me joy anymore so theres no point in me doing it
as far as my violin goes i suck now
im in 11th grade, and now i cant even get to the top of a fucking SECOND violin section of a high school orchestra like really wtf its over. i dont practice enough to reach my full potential in it anymore because its too late for high school and i cant make it with the competition in college
as for my other intruments they dont matter anymore, known of them bring be joy.
my dj'ing hardly matters anymore because all i can do with it is go to partys, im not gonna be the next soony moore i dont have enogh determination for anything to become that and i cant be seen in the public eye cuz id fuck up too many peoples lives that way
no one cares about me at all. maybe little forum people do but that cant do much for me. my family is done, a couple months into me being a loser douchbag fuck up whose never sober the people trying now will just give up and practically disown me. why should i give a fuck about what people think about me when theyre never going to be happy anyway
this may be the last time any of you and i mean absolutely any of you here from me and it might not
for all we know ill die tomorrow
for all we know i wont
but i dont even give a fuck about it anymore because that would mean i actually gave 2 shits about something other than nothing

Seems like you're just a lazy fuck. Stop being a lazy fuck and take interest in something and then you can 'play violin to your full potential'

no one to really blame but yourself
feel better <3

not blaming anyone else. and its got nothing to do with being lazy. i just dont give a fuck. i could be "unlazy" and do what everyone thinks im supposed to but i honestly done care so why would i? whatever

Find something that you're good at. Everyone's got something. Don't give up

But, Bam, you're awesome <3

Sounds like you were either high or drunk when you wrote this...

I know people who are in way worse shape than you are (barely got through high school, working a minimum wage job at a grocery store, still living at home, essentially no usable skills except the dude's a fucking beast at Madden). So I feel for you, but on the other hand things ain't nearly as bad as they could be. Believe me.

@violin stuff; it's really not easy to be good at, and lots of colleges love to see instruments on an application even if you don't want to play in college. also, get a good private teacher, cause after a certain point you won't get any better without someone helping you. you might not even have to pay, ask one of the better kids to teach you.
apologies but the violin stuff is most of what applies to me.

Bam do you really think the "big dogs" in the graphics design field were as talented as they are now in 11th grade? Of course not, they have several more years of experience including a college education. Keep doing what you love, and if you try hard, you'll be just as good as they are in the future.

yeah, life may be fucking frustrating to the point where we can't get it like you. and i'm not saying you should do things that don't bring you joy any more but. cmon now ashley, one brighter day you won't think like this anymore. don't give up hope

to ein,
i was sober as fuck when i wrote this so go fuck yourself

ein, always acting like a lil fag. ginger haha. i look down at you more than i would a druggie. damn kids these days

Faz you do really you're a few years at the most older than us.....................

yes son i do.

Actually, he's a grand total of somewhere between 12 and 24 months older than I am. Not exactly qualifications to call me a kid...

you still are a ginger and you know what gingers dont have?

The ability to tan. Which is actually false because I got a tan this summer (wouldn't be able to tell right now, but give it about...eh, 8 months.)

LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLLOL FAZ

Ashleeeyyy you know I love you and this is going to sound a bit harsh but dont feel so fucking sorry for yourself. Come on.. an attitude like this is gonna get ya nowhere for sure. Just try to keep ya head up. You can do it.. and if you wanna talk.. know im always there for you on aimsn or whereever.

we all have shitty days
on a side note i play the violin too REPRESENT

Guitar. STRING INSTRUMENTS REPRESENT.

I have played 3 string instruments in my young life. you betta recognize