Having troubles with someone who just wont leave you and your pussy and/or cock alone? (Pardon the language for those who mind). Then here are some tips on how to get rid of them:

How to get a girl off your back:

• Say you have an STD. Works every time. If you don't like to lie, go get an STD so you can rightfully you say you have one. Then when she is off your back, you can just get rid of it.....i think...
  
• Tell her that she is too good for you. This one is boring though
  
• Just ignore here, also a boring way to do it but usually effective
  
• If your penis is under 5 inches of length or less, then show it to her. If it is at a reasonable size and she is happy with the length and size, then this tip does not suit you.
  
• You could always kill her. But make sure it is done in an organized manner to insure the best possibility you do not get caught.
  
• You could always commit a crime and go to jail. This will ensure that there is no way she can contact you by phone and this will insure that there is a barrier between you and her if she ever comes and visits.
  
• If you have a ghost that is still in love with you and is glued to your back like the guy in the movie "Shutter" then your best opportunity is to kill yourself. Then, once dead and in the spirt world, follow one or more of the procedures above.
  

How to get a guy off your back

• Tell him that you do not believe in premarital sex
  
• Explain to him that you are anti-intercourse.
  
• Get a breast reduction.
  
• Start dating Justin Bieber (This one will ensure that the guy knows you are a lesbian)
  
• Tell him you are bad in bed.
  
• Tell him you like to have threesomes with your father.
  
• Tell him you have an STD. Most guys dont give a shit but it's probably worth a shot if none of the suggestions above work out.
  

And those are only a few of the many ways that you can get a guy/girl off your back .

wow...

None of those work with this girl that won't stop talking to me. Not even ignoring because I'm too nice to do that. Lol. The only thing that would get her would be to be in a relationship...balls, she would still talk to me. fuckfuckfuck

There is no easy way to get rid of an STD, especially the viral ones...lie about that even if it kills you inside. It's not worth actually getting an STD.

Idc about the size.

Actually none of those would work on me but the last two.

Lol. Most of it is just joking around, obviously. I just thought of this because a couple of my friends have this problem.

Just tell him/her to fuck off, Works for me.

I bet we, together, could find 101 humorous ways to get a girl off your back.

I could probably do that in about 15 minutes lol.

1. Tell her you had sex with a man.