Nothing Left
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Jake
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PostSubject: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:35 pm

A poem with a good story I wrote when I was in 6th or 7th grade, hope you enjoy it. I was young when I wrote this so please excuse incorrect grammar or incorrect use of tenses.






Nothing
Left





Here I am, stuck in the deep
depths of misery
As I lie here with a handful
of doubts
Though my life seems like a
novel of mystery
I know I’m being chased with
a number of sounds
My life once used to be
meaningful
As I remember all the prosperity
I had through my tremendous wealth
My wife and I were deeply
soulful
For having the love for our
family all to ourselves
I had a very fortunate life,
and a humungous home
And I lived every day in fame
But soon enough I’ll wind up
alone
And nobody would remember my
name
It started out as a beautiful
day
As I prepared to ride to the
love of my family
But I noticed someone who did
not look okay
Such as a lost soul that
seemed very empty
I approached him with a large
amount of sorrow
He asked for spare change,
looked as lonely as can be
As he looked at me with a
large, depressed groan
Ash surrounding his body, his
skin damaged I could see
His clothes were very ragged,
except for this jacket
This nice, brown and clean coat
He said he was digging
furiously for food when he found it
But still had a sad face and
his clothes were soaked
I spared him a fifty, and his spirit shined
As a return, he offered his jacket
I said I would not take it,
it was not mine
But he started limping away,
like he got in a brutal accident
I soon found out I made a
huge mistake
I should not have taken it,
and now I live in tears
I heard a loud siren
exploding in my ears
Cops surrounding me, in a scene of confusion
Grabbed the jacket, And I
thought I was dreamin’
Took out a truckload of jewels
and cash
The man framed me, despite my
courtesy and generosity
The cops pinned me in the
car, stuck in the dash
And threw me in a cell, for a
year of pity
As the long, extremely tiring
year had passed
I tried to find my wife and
family with a desperate search
But when I found them, the
door to my life had latched
As I saw them with another
man by a nearby perch
My life has fallen apart, my
wealth and love has vanished
As I lie hear, thinking this
is destiny
Thinking it was my fault,
something I must’ve missed
But now I am with the spirits
of many
Hopping that a little mist of
rain falls upon me
Thinking it is a
heartbreaking dream, and I will wake up to be
The man that was prosperous
in many ways
But now I shed my tears and
count the days
I used to be loved, and
people gave me respect
But now my life is nothing, I
have nothing left.



Last edited by Jake on Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:43 pm; edited 2 times in total
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P00pinshniver
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:36 pm

holy crap that is long, im not gonna read it
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:37 pm

It's really not that long, just looks long
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chimchim930
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:38 pm

if you didnt put 3 spaces between each line and shortened it down it would probably be easier to read without us thinking its really long.
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SF
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:38 pm

That's amazing for 6th or 7th grade.
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:40 pm

It wont let me get rid of the spaces Umm and thanks SF
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Katanga
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:00 pm

Nice jyo, thats really good.
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:04 pm

Thank you
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JriderT
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:35 pm

Dude thats great, you inspire me to make a poem lol
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:59 pm

Haha thanks, I made a nothing left 2 as well, it's better, i'll post it another time
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Katanga
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:00 am

sweet, cant wait to see it
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kareljanis
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:04 am

sorry, but thats a bit long for my liking. im more of a haiku person.
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Katanga
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:11 am

kareljanis wrote:
sorry, but thats a bit long for my liking. im more of a haiku person.


he means "that was great, I read it and was astounded, but I dont want to look like a nerd that reads long posts so I'll just pretend im some random fat guy from south park"
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kareljanis
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:16 am

Katanga wrote:
kareljanis wrote:
sorry, but thats a bit long for my liking. im more of a haiku person.


he means "that was great, I read it and was astounded, but I dont want to look like a nerd that reads long posts so I'll just pretend im some random fat guy from south park"


no, i mean im not reading that wall of text. i have national geographic for that.
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Bonnie
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:43 am

That was amazing. No seriously, it was.
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:38 am

Thank you.
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Chainy
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:46 am

Great, Jake.
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Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:53 am

Thank you
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MrMega
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:32 am

Spectacular Jake, I already read it on MYNHQ/your forum I think.
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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Left   Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:14 am

P00pinshniver wrote:
holy crap that is long, im not gonna read it


Hahahah. Smooth.


I liked it tons, Jake :]
You've got a gift, mah friend.
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